Washed.

Ok. So, this might come as a shock…it might not. This has been something I’ve struggled with for quite some time. However, as a result of my sin and pride, this struggle has been something I’ve refused to recognize, deal with, and especially talk about to anyone. For the past few years (but specifically the past few months) I’ve struggled with the idea of the undeserved grace of God, having to earn my salvation, and even earn God’s love and grace in my life. I don’t want to blame it on my background or how I was raised in a “Catholic” home but I know those factors can be influential when it comes to a person’s faith. However, I’ve heard the gospel countless times, been through Bible studies, been involved in an evangelical church, and even majored in “Christian Studies” at NGU. Following Christ and surrendering to the Lord is a choice and it is a choice we make not only once in our lives but every day, every decision, every moment. Of course we’re going to screw up. We always have and we always will.

Ephesians 2:1-10 and Romans 3:9-26 have been two of the main scripture passages that I have clung to through this battle. For so long I thought that good works were my way to the Lord and a way I could earn God’s partiality on my life. Number one, God doesn’t show partiality and number two, God’s grace and love is definitely not something that anyone can earn. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:8-10) We don’t earn God’s grace by our works but because of God’s grace in our lives, we are equipped to do good works for His glory. I used to quote all of this and speak this like I had believed it for years. That was a lie. Now, that has changed.

I have been involved with a wonderful Sunday school class and small group at Richland Creek Community Church and have been blessed with amazing folks to teach me, correct me, and love me. My small group leaders, Currie and Suzanne Tilley, have played a major influence in my life since I’ve been at Southeastern. They have provided hospitality, love, instruction, and great memories for me and pretty much everyone they come in contact with. They truly radiate Christ and display what it means to follow the Lord. I have been able to come to them for anything and this struggle being one of those times they have helped me most. They shared Truth with me, encouraged me, and most importantly, prayed for me.

I share all this to let you know that last Sunday, August 22, I surrendered my life to the Lord in a way I never have before. The Lord has been pursuing me for years and now I have finally accepted God’s grace and love and surrendered to Christ as Lord of my life. I no longer live for myself. I live for Him and His glory. I am going to be baptized this coming Sunday night at Richland Creek’s lake baptism and I feel honored that Currie will be the one to baptize me with Suzanne right there beside him. I thought that this journey would be really hard, almost embarrassing, to share with people because of where I am in life but the Lord has given me such courage and boldness to share the amazing work He’s done in my life. Some people may think less of me or judge me because I was so involved with church, youth group, missions, and I just started my second year of seminary, or as some people like to call it, “Bible college” but this is my story and I am not ashamed of the Lord, therefore, I’m not ashamed to tell my story. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” (Galatians 2:20)